Here’s the thing, when I start to go on this merry go round of hope I feel an almost mania of it. Granted I don’t have a lot to amuse me so this what if game can get a little out of hand. If you know me personally you are laughing a very knowing laugh. Monica on hope is an unpredictable ride.
This particular journey began when I decided to go ahead and buy the H Wave. This is a magical machine I have VERY mixed feelings about. It is something akin to a tens unit that actually delivers. I am talking no pain with a femur dislocation while I am hooked up. No drugs just superhero creating levels of electricity coursing through my empty joints.
How could I have mixed feeling about a miracle amongst miracles? No pain and no one can scream at me for contributing to the opioid epidemic? Here is the breakdown the machine is about 2K. Take that in for a minute. I cannot imagine it cost even $100 to make the machine. This rubs me the wrong way. No insurance will cover it. They are kind enough to have a no interest payment plan . It is one more gadget that I must collect to 1. Be the good patient who tries everything to prove I need pain meds. 2. These things really work and while I am grateful to be privileged enough to try to afford them many are unable. That make me mad. Why is it that EVERY possible new device or miracle is marked into the thousands that is suppose to help the disabled?
Enough on that rant now here is how my overactive chihuahua of a brain tries to justify spending this much. Since relief from mind bending pain can’t be enough right? I try to imagine a life with no opioids. Pain managed by electricity and herb alone. Maybe I might even be able to move up on my Muldowney Method. Maybe I can even try to work one day a month again. I swear folks if I die suddenly it will be from a moment of optimism mixed with exhaustion and guilt.
So here it is my second full day of having the miracle machine. I have have 1 dislocated shoulder, dislocated rib, 1 sublicated elbow, dislocated wrist, we will not discuss my feet, and a dislocated femur. This might be the worst christmas carol ever. Did I mention I have Ehlers Danlos? Did I mention I have REALLY bad Ehlers Danlos? So my body threw everything it had (pause for groans and laughter) to test the machine. Here is my takeaway:
Yes, while it is on no pain, even without meds. I could go much longer without medication. Effects last for a bit after unlike tens and the halt on pain is much better with H Wave. Then again it is 1 AM and I am up writing this because well dislocated everything and I hurt. Is 2K worth it to be able to put a pause button on pain? I leave that to you and what level of economic privilege you are at. I ran a business I know I don’t have their business model but it is a disturbing trend from thousands of dollars for wheelchair assist Smart Drives to the please don’t make me overdose trying to get my pain under control HWave chronic illness has become the most expensive hobby. I wish companies would find a way to offset their cost for those on disability.