I have been really stuck, lost even. It is like waking up from surgery. Wrestling the ether. Struggling up for air, motivation, art, my family. I have been in and out of panic attacks. Or maybe they are POTS attacks. Perhaps MCA. Google suggested heart attack or the beginning of one. Did great things for my anxiety, POTS, or MCA. In short google does not help. EVER. When it comes to am I dying or is it my chronic illness Google will kindly and blithely inform you that yes, you are indeed dying.
I digress. It has been a high pain week. Bones I thought stable laugh at my hubris. They have become adventurous ready for new vistas. It is too dark in my rib cage, too dull near the knee cap. It is so very much better on the other side. Ehlers Danlos is always a surprise.
I know I need to draw because I start biting my nails and looking for candy like a fiend. No really, there are seven year olds at birthday parties with more self control than I have when in pain. As a last ditch effort I pick up my pencil and ipad and draw util I forget my body. I make loose lines if I am free handing or start with forms if working from Pinterest and I obsess as something comes out of the shadows. I might have intentions of what I am drawing but the illustrations have their own ideas and they never bore if I get out of their way.
Chronic pain needs pain meds. I will scream that from soap boxes. But even when properly medicated my pills do not cover all of the pain. At best they can get me to a five. Creating, drawing, and writing can trick my brain into leaving off the constant screaming.
What is your chronic pain distraction? Comment Below