Throwing People Away
So there’s a lot to unpack here in this sentence. I have watched the debates. I have cried watching news. I have gotten enraged by comments and actions of elected officials but all of that is removed. What happens when comments are not in a place you can switch off? Not log in? What do you do when your family or friends hold views that you personally hate?
I am going to be clear here. I am not a therapist. I am not an expert. I am STRUGGLING with this issue right now. If you have been on this blog before you know I live in a country where I cannot afford a therapist so I come here and type. I know when I struggle in the dark and alone it gets bigger and worse. If I read or hear someone else openly talking I feel better so here it is.
I have friends and family I disagree with and I know in this day and time disagree is a calm word for what I can feel. I feel sometimes like I am dragging a rope doing everything I physically and financially can do to help but there are those I love that I can feel like they are taking that end of the rope and running in the other direction with it. It feels like my work is being undone and harmed by those I would hope would help when I can’t. Push forward what I believe. But they don’t believe the same thing, at times publicly.
So what do you do?
I go back to those I admire. Those I try to keep in my head when my first reaction is not something I would be proud of later. I go to Malala who could look at those who threatened her life, her right to be on this planet and met them with compassion. She saw fear led to hatred and the only thing to stand in hatred’s face was bravery and compassion. You might look to people you have met, leaders of movements, even some in religious text and see something very similar.
I very much believe in an open dialog. I learned that what was posted in one case had a much deeper meaning behind it. I expressed what I was afraid of and listened.
For me, for the person I want to be I will do my best to move forward in this way.
Ask if what I think the person is trying to say is what I think
Try to understand what their fears are
Do everything I can to meet them with compassion.
I am in a place of privilege. I am not in a camp at the border. I am not routinely stopped by police. My right to exist is not always questioned. I like to think that being in this unique position allows me to take this spot. To have the safety to try this. I know it is not as righteous as burn it to the ground. Fuck them. I just think I have had enough of them and other. I have stood against blind hatred and ignorance my entire life and as uncomfortable as it is I mean to still practice what I preach. I want to understand and I want everyone to have a better safer and kinder life.
I am VERY open to respectful dialog. How will you handle dialog? What will you do to help your message? How will you handle those you love who disagree with you?